When I graduated from college, it just didn't quite seem real. After all of the struggles and sacrifices to make it through, when it seemed like there would never be an end, I thought that if I just walked across the stage the feeling of finality and exuberation would take over me, as if life were about to begin. It didn't. Instead, I had a horrific recurring dream. In the dream I received my diploma only to have it taken back months later after they found out I had in fact failed to complete Phy Ed. Since it took me seven long years to finish college, it was completely and utterly devastating. After each dream, it took me a long time to calm down and realize that of course I hadn't failed physical education, and of course no one had taken away everything I worked so hard to achieve.
I've come to that point in my life again. It feels the same as before. The dream we've been working so long to achieve has finally happened and I'm terrified it's not real. Everything went off without a hitch. We closed on our land on March 31st. We saved for three years. We paid cash. We own our land. I made it past April 1st when I dreaded a knock on the door as the realtor shouted, "April Fools!" Ridiculous, I know.
We've been working it out the last two weeks. Simple and slow. Isn't that how living should be done anyway? Gradually acclimating into new roles, new projects, exploring the beauty of the earth and getting to know this new land of ours.
The process. It will be a long one yet. First things, first. Camping and a new fire pit.
Labels: homesteading, knitting, off grid